Where I'm from is dark and death stained. The memory's scent is copper pennies and sulphur,
burned out candles and sweat. I was
born to be nothing, to stay nothing and go back to nothing. And yet, here I am, still living and
learning to thrive rather than simply survive. I used to wonder if what was born from darkness into darkness could ever be anything but that same black void but now I know the answer. I know the answer
because I am standing in my own light and I shed light on those around me and
out into the world.
I know the answer because I am that light, that light that I
dove into.... deep inside myself when things were not safe. The deep well of love that I found at my
center, the hours I spent there in hiding from the dark world into which I was
born, those hours saved me. I learned to
not be the dark thing I was being groomed to be, I learned that just there, in
that safe inner space where love and light lived no one and nothing could touch
me, not really.
Where I'm from is rage filled and pain drenched, it was
beyond comprehension, though I've spent many hours trying to understand... I
know now it is beyond understanding. I
know now that what matters is where I am now and where I'm going. I understand now that the people who rained such darkness over me are dead and gone and I'm still breathing, still here and able to see light now, able to
see and feel and express love. I know
now it doesn't really matter where I'm from, what matters is where I'm going
and what I do with my life in the Now.
Today I know that I have not only survived, but that I have
moved through that blackness and transcended it, I am beyond the reach of those
that brought me into this world and those that wished to take me from the
world. I take each new breath with a
sense of ease, with the knowledge that I can make it through anything, that I'm
stronger than any mountain and braver than any warrior.
It's a new day and a new life and I am grateful to be alive, grateful to be healing, even grateful to the memories as they arise and I accept them, hold them with tenderness and honor them. I am grateful, to be in the light now and to
know that the light is where I'm from now.
